Dad

When I think of our father, there are a million things that come to mind that it’s tough to summarize how much he means to us and why he means so much.  But when I think it about my father, three things particularly stick out.

1)    Family 1st – 5 kids plus spouses, 15 grandkids plus 1 spouse (some of you grandkids need to get to it), 3 great grandkids.  You get the idea that family might be important!  Raising 5 kids was not easy, especially the first four.  With a large family, there seems to always be somebody celebrating an accomplishment while somebody is weathering a harder time.  It’s just the way it is.  Every accomplishment was a chance to celebrate…and celebrate we did.  And every low was simply met with a “This too shall pass” and let’s get through it.  We learned to pick each other up and help out where we could. 

Family first also meant providing.  My father proudly served our country in the Army and the National Guard.  When he returned, he worked at the Old Chrysler Jefferson plant.  He then worked for Michigan Typeset, before spending 25 years at UPS.  He primarily worked the night shift loading boxes.  He considered driving to make more money but opted for loading as it gave him more time at home, more time to coach us baseball. 

Not having originally graduated high school, my father went back in the early 70s for his GED, and he continually pushed us towards education.  “If you think school is hard, try getting through life without it.”  He was right.  He didn’t say what we had to be educated in, but pick something and do your best.

He worked hard but we were never financially “rich”!  However, to me and my siblings we were as wealthy as anyone.  We definitely had plenty to get by and enough love to sustain.  We are not better than anyone, nor is anyone better than us.  When you’re down, get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.  You’ll be stronger once you do. 

2)    The second dominant memory of my Dad that comes to mind is Giving back – He predominantly did this in two particular ways:

The first was through coaching baseball.  He loved coaching and he was a player’s coach.  He didn’t yell all the time. He was positive and always teaching.  We had a lot of special teams and developed strong bonds.  He was competitive, yet compassionate.  If you struck out, get ‘em next time.  If your teammate struck out, pick ‘em up.  If we lost, we lost as a team.  But what did we learn?  He loved the game and he knew the game.  And he was passionate about teaching it.

I remember one time in my mid to late 20’s running into a former teammate from the “olden days”.  I saw him at a softball game I think, I don’t exactly recall.  Immediately all those great games and battles came back to me and the times we shared.  I was excited to see him as we walked up to each other.  And before he even says hello, he asks “How’s your Dad?”  And I respond, “I’m great, how are you? And we laughed.  And that’s the way it was.  He was more than a Dad.  He was a role model that players didn’t forget, and he was frequently a father-figure.  And he loved every minute of it.  Just last week, my father and I were talking about the old teams and players.  And I want to thank those former teammates who reached out when they heard he passed.  Some I hadn’t heard from in 20-30 years.  We reminisced about those days and our championship run that came up short.  But more importantly the respect they had for our father was still evident.  We all remember it like yesterday. 

In later life, my Dad began giving back through the Church.  My father was an usher at St. Donald’s, a Church that we helped open and unfortunately recently closed.  He was also a very active member of the Men’s club. He thoroughly enjoyed the men he served with.  He was also extremely proud to be part of the Knights of Columbus, the world’s largest Catholic fraternal service organization.  He frequently volunteered and was excited to become a Fourth Degree Knight, Sir Knight as other members would respectfully call him.  This is the highest degree for Knights.  He never boasted about achieving it but he could have.  A very high honor within the Catholic religion and an acknowledgement of his efforts to give to those less fortunate.

3)    The third thought I have of my Dad is religion.

We grew up Catholic.  All of us kids were Baptized, celebrated Holy Communion, and were Confirmed.  He did not preach but he did lead by example.  For my parents, the Church was an important foundation for our upbringing.  Going to Church and Church events was an important part of my parents’ lives.  And his belief in Jesus Christ would be evident in his final months.

My mother and all the siblings were all fortunate to be at the hospital when he passed.  Till the end, he was the man I always knew.  He was still our father. And he was clear about letting us know that!  He was courageous beyond belief.  And he was stronger than I ever imagined.  Even faced with the inevitable, he did not falter.  He simply gave his patented response: “I guess I’m between a rock and a hard place”.  He knew what he was against but would never quit living.  Every breath was precious.  And I finally realized at that moment that every argument I ever had with the man was pointless.  I never stood a chance! 

As my father approached his final days, we evaluated options to get my father out of the hospital. Could we take him home? No. Home oxygen supplies would prove to be insufficient for what he required.  How about another hospice? Same thing. Could not support required oxygen requirements.  How about LT care? Yes, but why?  No better, in fact it would have been a less comfortable environment.  My Dad was finally content with the fact that we would be with him around the clock and that hospital room would be filled with the love of home. 

In the last few days since he passed, I re-ran the chain of events.  He was put on a floor where they treated people, not a floor where people frequently passed on.  When my Dad was admitted, he was put into a room with another patient.  I felt bad for the other patient as well as my father… the Boikes were ALWAYS there.  Fortunately our cousin worked there, and with the help of some of her co-workers, was able to have my father moved to his own room…which also had the ability to supply the significant levels of oxygen that my father required.  Looking back, it really was the ideal option given the circumstances.  His new room # was 316.  And the name of the hospital….St. John’s! 

So a lot of you know may know John 3:16.  It’s the most quoted verse from the Bible.  Frequently referred to as “The Gospel in a nutshell”, it’s the central theme for all Christianity.

John 3:16.  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.  Just like winning an argument with my father, we had NO chance of leaving that room.  He was exactly where the Lord wanted us to be!

My family and I are extremely thankful for the time we had with our Father.  And for all of you for sharing that journey with him.  He was a balanced man.  Hard work, providing for your family, giving back, and believing in the Lord Jesus is a great recipe for a fulfilling life.  And his last lesson I will cherish as well: every breath is precious!

Thank you Dad!  We love you!